Welcome to Dystopia by Gordon Van Gelder

Author:Gordon Van Gelder
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781949017076
Publisher: OR Books
Published: 2018-10-16T04:00:00+00:00

WE ALL HAVE HEARTS OF GOLD®

Leo Vladimirsky

FROM: Simpson Stevens III ([email protected])

TO: The Gang ([email protected])

RE: All Hands on Deck! Cancel your weekend plans…amazing opportunity

DATE: 1/21/21

Gang. Gang…GANG!!!!

Simpy here.

Just got off the phone with…you’ll never guess, so I’ll just tell you. The president. The actual, motherfucking PRESIDENT of these MOTHERFUCKING UNITED STATES!!!

And he wants to work with us!

Now, before anyone starts getting all big-pants politics with me, just know that I was most definitely “WITH HER” back in 2016 (that feels like a long time ago, doesn’t it?) and I voted for Obama both in 2008 and 2012 (before a lot of you were even out of diapers) so my political bona fides don’t need any clarifications.

Look, I know that the last four years were weird. I get it. I’m not a monster. We lost a lot of good creatives (and friends) who had to go back home when they lost their visas. We tried like hell to keep ’em, but you can’t fight city hall, right? We had to close our Chicago and LA offices after the Vegan bombings (you can thank the opposition for that): how can we keep our country safe if our own people are busy attacking us? (HINT: this brief will help.) And I know that we were all sad to see our offices in Shanghai, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Mumbai, Rome, São Paulo, Mexico City, Toronto, Vancouver, and Tokyo shut.

But we did get to open new spaces in Moscow, Putingrad, and West Virginia. Closing doors, opening windows and all that.

So I do get it. It’s been tough. We’ve had some downs.

But now we’ve got a big up. A huge up. From way up in the highest place we can imagine.

The.

White.

House.

This is all super-secret, so don’t go forwarding this brief to any of your personal email accounts (haha…you can get into a lot of trouble with that, just ask “her,” (that is, if you can find her (joking, joking.))

I know some of you will have reservations working on a brief from this administration. I get it. But remember that we are in the business of business, not politics. I’m sure a lot of you don’t like to drive (Keith!), but that didn’t stop us from kicking ass on the KleanOil brief. Some of you may be vegetarians (I’m talking to you, Laura), but we still killed it for the Pork Belly Council. And Ajaz, I know you don’t drink, but you CRUSHED it on the Berry-Boppers Alco-Pop viral video project.

My point is that we can put our personal politics aside and come together to do great things and create huge, award-winning ideas. That’s what advertising is all about, kids. And we’ve been called to do some epic work for maybe the most revolutionary organization to come about in our country. I really think (no, I know) that this project and the work we make has the potential to change the world. Isn’t that why we got into this amazing business in the first place?

So look at the brief. Mull it over.

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